so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
