butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
my poor anus
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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