how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
