You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
