There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
