Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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