Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
This baby is an asshole
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
