is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
