are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She needs sedatives and a leash
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
