she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
