I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
