He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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