Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
