I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
