not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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