Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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