Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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