I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
In America we eat man semen.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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