If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
