So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
