I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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