I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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