And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
