the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
