Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
