I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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