Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
