Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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