I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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