Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize