Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
