Don't make out with my wife yet
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
