Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You're a waste of cheezeits
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
