what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
