i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
