So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish I only lived at night.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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