I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
