good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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