just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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