Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
