I just made out with a guy for $7.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
