does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
