Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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