So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
