Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
