we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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