sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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