I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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