Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
