honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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