She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
