I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
