Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
