Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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