I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize