zippers are such a cool invention
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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