It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
