Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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